Science has tried to piece together the puzzle that is Spectrum conditions for years. They give us explanations and most people believe them.
I am a free spirit. I do not necessarily believe what human beings tell me just because they are in a position to do so. Therefore, I think for myself. Though Science says Autism is a neurological disorder, and whilst they may back that up with Science, it does not follow that I have to accept that there is no other reason for us Autistics to be here.
All parents believe their children to be special and indeed all children are, to anyone who appreciates them. When I say my Jay is special, I mean it in a uniquely different and more spiritual and, deep sense. Evolution can explain why there are millions of Autistics in the world, in every race and culture, but the belief that there is a more profound spiritual reason for their presence on Earth, is a concept that only the most free minded, free spirited and individual persons will consider and only the most free will believe.
I am one of those people.
From the moment my son was born I knew he was different. Not just developmentally. I saw in to his very soul and spirit, and I saw a light inside him, but I did not acknowledge it for a lot of years until he showed signs of his Autism. I remember him at 4 months old, sitting in his pram, waiting for his sister April to come out of School, and I looked in to his eyes. They were focused intently on something beyond what I was able to see with my eyes. I remember seeing his light then, in that moment. I am able to share this because its only now that I realize that it was telling me something. Jay came from a place that chose me to be his mum. He was created by us, yes, but his purpose was a different one. I have only just realized it in this last few years, that Jay has been slowly teaching me about myself as well as himself, and I have listened and learned and become.
I believe Jay is a Crystal child and I am an Indigo parent.
I am perfectly okay with the reaction I might get for saying this, and to be honest with you all, it matters not to me what people think because I am not on Earth to meet with other People’s approval. I am part of the natural world and the natural forces and elements, so I do not worry about peoples opinions, however I do of course respect everyone’s own beliefs -I am merely sharing mine. I will never ask for approval.
What is an Indigo and crystal child or person?
Indigo children have a light inside them, a non-responsiveness to the norm, and a spiritual maturity that appears to belong to old souls who have been or come from somewhere more spiritual and divine. They are completely aware of who they are and where they belong. They are creative, empathic, curious and considered to be strange. They are highly intellectual , and have a consciousness of a higher place and way of living. They do not respond to the norms of society or social hierarchy, they simply do not have the concept within them. The Crystal children are believed to be the offspring of the Indigo children and they are both idealists who are not interested in material things or money, only in the more calm, light and spiritual side of their own mind and life , and such things as success and power mean nothing to them. They do not need these things to be happy. Their happiness comes from a more divine place. They often possess gifts which are not the usual. They are usually gifts linked to the arts and the spiritual world, and the areas of the human brain, not used by the majority of people.
That side of the brain, is the spiritual side and is where true gifts are present. There is no reason to believe that Indigo children always have to be Autistic, but they all represent a new wave of consciousness and way of being, that society as it is today plays absolutely no part in. I know I am an Indigo because I have all the above traits and am not manipulated by those Authority figures who secretly mould us in to what they want us to be, and openly and blatantly lie to us on issues in the world and who seek to control us all using fear and corruption to rule us. It sounds a bit sinister doesn’t it? However I am not here to discuss that, I just know that I am a free thinker and I do not believe a word of whats out there just because another human being says it. I go by my heart and soul and am guided by my own heartbeat. I know what is right and wrong and I live simply and contentedly because I do not go after every little distraction designed to keep me from my free thinking mind.
I have always been different. I have thought differently to others. I have gone through life up until now wondering why the hell I couldn’t be like everyone else and fit in. The truth is I did not fit in because I was different. The moment I learned who I really was, I was able to fit in to my world. When was the moment I realized who I was?
The years after Jay was diagnosed with Severe Autism .
Jay is the reason I found myself. All of his Autism traits were fully visible by 6. I slowly began to realize that his traits were my own. I was clearly showing the traits of the Autistic Spectrum. I tried to tell a few people but they did not know me well enough as they dismissed it as I was far too eloquent and socially fine. But I wasn’t. I would go to a social event and seem fine. The truth was , I was masking and was very good at it. I masked at work too. It was how I got through. No-one ever knew and even I did not know. Jay taught me who I was. After 4 years with him from 5 to 9yrs old I slowly pieced together the puzzles of my life, and the struggles I had inwardly had. I asked myself how could I not have known, when I preferred to go and watch the sunset or stars or birds rather than go out on a people night out? I was not comfortable in that role. It was never me. I never wanted it. All I ever want is the natural world around me. To be a part of nature on a daily basis and I have always written about feeling at one with nature too. I was never at one with people. Except my own people. They were the only people I could relate to and truly love. However , like my Jay I do have empathy , too much , and so I had to switch off from that to survive as I took on too much of peoples problems. I now know how to listen and be a friend but to also protect my own energy from their negative problem, and continue to help them, without losing my inner peace and calm. It has taken me years to learn that.
Jay has a light around him. Only someone like him, could see it. I saw it from his birth. I felt energy from him that had light in it, that had a strength in it that transmitted towards my soul and this is the reason I can help Jay, and why I understand him and know how to lessen the burdens he carries. His ultra sensitivities that make this world intolerable for him are also in me, but at a lesser level as I have learned to mask them and switch them off. The sensory side of Jay’s mind is so advanced and switched to a frequency way higher than regular people, that I am not surprised he has the ability to give off an energy which is felt by people like me with the ability to see and feel it. Regular people may not be able to. They may not understand that all around us is energy. Our bodies are made up of the same elements that made the Universe, so why is so hard a concept for people to grasp, that we ourselves have those elements in us, and they are not just scientific, they are spiritual too. This kind of light can guide our paths and enable us to live a more alternative life, that is driven by our own minds not what other people are telling us, but our own thoughts, feelings and beliefs. If you can be one of those people who can dance to the beat of their own drum, instead of following the crowd and worrying about what other people think of you, then the freedom that comes with that, can carry us through life on our own terms.
That is how Jay lives. He sees the world in a different way. He has nothing normal about him. Neither have I. Just like myself , Jay looks at the Sun and the sky with a pure and spiritual, happy face that glows with a light in his eyes that shines through him and if I am standing next to him I can feel it. It goes in me. It can work in reverse too. If Jay has overload and is in a sensory shutdown , the negative force in him also is felt by me and it brings my spirit down temporarily, but his true spirit soon returns and lights up again. These children have an aura around them. I have seen it when I visit Jay’s School. There is a happy and delighted spiritual energy around them and each one shines. The struggles these children and adults face in life, has everything to do with the fact this world does not suit their souls. They are so emphatic, creative, and knowledgeable and in touch with the natural world, that when they are deprived of that in noisy busy places and they cannot get access to wild places , their system shuts down and causes Meltdown. They prefer to be in a peaceful and tranquil environment to feel who they really are, but in today’s fast paced, must have, must get, must buy ,must succeed , must make noise ,environment ,its impossible for these children to truly excel or settle, which therefore leads to distress and unregulated behaviours coming out.
Allowing Children like these to access environments more suited to their delicate and light centred souls,is the only way to help them. Whilst we force them to conform and be like everybody else , which is School’s way too, they will never settle or feel truly alive and able to fully express themselves and be who they are meant to be. I have shared before that I believe the way these children are we could learn a lot from. They will never be mean, or bully or be pick on someone because their hair looks wrong, or lie . They do not lie, in fact their ability to see things in black and white and in a literal sense means sometimes they can tell the truth too much and border on hurtful, but the intent to harm someones feelings is not their agenda. They are just being natural and truthful. Jay does not know how to want. He is content and happy and likes things the same. He is never going to be low or down because he isn’t where he wants to be. He is just in the present moment and finds happiness there. I am also the same. I rarely think about the next great thing. I live for the here and now and am content with the way my life is and I never wish to be anyone other than me, or even want what someone else has. It just does not even enter my head. I am settled in the here and now, rarely think now about the future as it hasn’t happened yet, and rarely visit my past as there’s nothing to aid me there.
With Autism no two days are the same. Yet there is a sameness to each day.
Whether you believe in Indigo and Crystal children being the Autistics or not, the truth is never based on fact. A truth is only what is being proven so far. Truth can change and is often subjective. We can choose to believe what we feel in our hearts to be truth and right, not from what some one else pushes on us as their beliefs or their agendas. I have learned from Jay and he has taught me about who I really am, and because of that, I now know who and what Jay is too. This helps me to better meet his needs as understanding Autism is the first and most important factor we have in helping and making their world better for them. The colossal amount of humans with Autism on this planet in every country in the world means something has happened, and something has changed, because even though Autism has always been here on Earth, it has never been to the scale it is now and so I am willing to believe that a force bigger than us has something to do with it. I do believe that humans with Autism have light inside them, but also have dark and so the balance is perfect, as we all have light and dark in us. I have never met a child with Autism whose light did not shine brighter than his dark and I do not think I ever will! Although I believe in the Indigo children being Autistics, I would never take the more extreme view that no medical intervention should be sought. Children with Autism need that diagnosis, they need a Doctor involved in their care, especially those like Jay who have Global development delay as well as those with Epilepsy, and the diagnosis is essential to make sure they get the complex support they need. Right now Jay is with a team in the NHS and they are offering support as his needs are very complex. Jay meets their criteria and the service is so far really helping us with the challenges Jay now faces in every day life, so I would like to say to all with children like Jay, I hope you may open your minds to the fact they may well be here for a reason more spiritual but it should never replace professional support or Diagnosis. That is Paramount in getting the support they need in life. For now, I am content to just trust in the Universe and do the very best I can to support my little Crystal being. Becoming his Mum has been one of the most honoured and privileged times in my life! Life is rich when you know how to be content with where you are and carry your wishes and dreams in your heart, ready for the next chapter whatever that may be!